Jokes, Humour, Funny Stories - Post Them Here
Malcolm Offline
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RE: Jokes, Humour, Funny Stories - Post Them Here
Just been to the gym tonight and they've got a new machine in.

I only used it for half an hour then I started to feel sick.

It's great though.

It does everything - Kit Kats, Mars bars, Snickers, Crisps, the lot.




NEWS JUST IN FROM THE USA.

You, who worry about Democrats versus Republicans --relax, here is our real problem.  

In a Purdue University classroom recently, they were discussing the qualifications to be President of the United States . It was pretty simple.

The candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age.
However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen.  

In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president.

The class was taking it in and letting her rant, and not many jaws hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating, "What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?"

Yep, these are the same kinds of 18-year-olds that are now voting in our elections!  

They breed, and they walk among us...

Lord -- we need more help than we thought we did!  

No wonder more than half of graduating college students can't find a job!




The wife asked me, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy a carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.

A short time later I arrived back home with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asked me, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

I replied, "Because they had avocados"

(This post was last modified: 05-02-2018, 10:18 PM by Malcolm.)
05-02-2018, 10:09 PM
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Messages In This Thread
[No subject] - by ttwebsite - 11-01-2006, 12:24 PM
RE: Jokes, Humour, Funny Stories - Post Them Here - by Malcolm - 05-02-2018, 10:09 PM
Motorcycle Wisdom - by ttwebsite - 11-01-2006, 12:04 PM
[No subject] - by ttwebsite - 11-01-2006, 12:13 PM
[No subject] - by ttwebsite - 11-01-2006, 12:17 PM
[No subject] - by ttwebsite - 11-01-2006, 12:20 PM
[No subject] - by ttwebsite - 11-01-2006, 12:23 PM
[No subject] - by ttwebsite - 11-01-2006, 12:25 PM
[No subject] - by ttwebsite - 11-01-2006, 12:29 PM
[No subject] - by ttwebsite - 11-01-2006, 12:53 PM
Joke - by Sid from Brigg - 14-01-2006, 08:49 PM
[No subject] - by ade! - 18-01-2006, 11:47 AM
[No subject] - by Hilary M - 18-01-2006, 07:51 PM
[No subject] - by Noddy - 19-01-2006, 03:53 PM
[No subject] - by ade! - 19-01-2006, 06:52 PM
[No subject] - by thewitch - 19-01-2006, 07:18 PM
[No subject] - by ade! - 19-01-2006, 09:23 PM
[No subject] - by ade! - 24-01-2006, 04:55 PM
How you spent your dash - - by Harry - 25-01-2006, 07:02 PM
[No subject] - by ade! - 27-01-2006, 01:57 PM
[No subject] - by Tom Loughridge - 20-02-2006, 10:52 PM
[No subject] - by charlie hulse - 03-03-2006, 06:13 PM
[No subject] - by charlie hulse - 03-03-2006, 06:18 PM
[No subject] - by charlie hulse - 03-03-2006, 06:24 PM
[No subject] - by ade! - 03-03-2006, 07:28 PM
[No subject] - by ade! - 10-03-2006, 01:51 PM
[No subject] - by Malcolm - 14-03-2006, 04:45 PM
[No subject] - by Malcolm - 18-03-2006, 12:40 AM
[No subject] - by Hilary M - 18-03-2006, 05:26 PM
[No subject] - by Cherie Christian - 22-03-2006, 09:21 PM
[No subject] - by Hilary M - 22-03-2006, 10:21 PM
[No subject] - by Cherie Christian - 22-03-2006, 10:38 PM
[No subject] - by charlie hulse - 22-03-2006, 10:47 PM
[No subject] - by Cherie Christian - 22-03-2006, 10:48 PM
[No subject] - by thewitch - 22-03-2006, 11:38 PM
[No subject] - by Sid from Brigg - 03-04-2006, 08:28 PM
[No subject] - by Hilary M - 04-04-2006, 09:51 AM
Why we love children...! - by charlie hulse - 21-05-2006, 12:41 PM
RE: Why we love children...! - by TTNeb - 15-04-2018, 08:33 PM
[No subject] - by Hilary M - 29-05-2006, 06:45 AM
[No subject] - by Malcolm - 15-09-2006, 10:59 AM
[No subject] - by thewitch - 15-09-2006, 12:29 PM
[No subject] - by Malcolm - 15-09-2006, 01:09 PM
good rider - by ian huntly - 20-10-2006, 11:39 AM
Scots on Holiday..... - by Guy - 28-10-2006, 09:31 AM
[No subject] - by Noddy - 13-04-2007, 01:34 PM
[No subject] - by Queenie - 08-05-2007, 01:50 PM
God and Harley Davidson - by DCLUCIE - 17-06-2007, 02:40 AM
If you ae going to Mozambique on your bike - by thewitch - 19-01-2008, 01:52 PM
[No subject] - by thewitch - 21-01-2008, 06:26 PM
[No subject] - by thewitch - 24-01-2008, 12:01 PM
[No subject] - by sticky - 24-01-2008, 12:06 PM
[No subject] - by thewitch - 24-01-2008, 12:09 PM
[No subject] - by thewitch - 24-01-2008, 12:38 PM
[No subject] - by cargo - 24-01-2008, 01:05 PM
[No subject] - by cargo - 25-01-2008, 05:37 AM
[No subject] - by Fly - 26-01-2008, 08:57 PM
[No subject] - by Fly - 30-01-2008, 06:54 PM
[No subject] - by Noddy - 08-02-2008, 06:46 PM
General Election - by Yamanx - 24-04-2015, 01:08 PM
RE: General Election - by ian huntly - 06-05-2015, 10:08 AM



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